Being vulnerable is hard, but sometimes being vulnerable is what will prompt others to listen. Let me be honest, I have experienced times of insecurity. However, what if we lived in a world where there was beauty found in a place within our weakness?
Being vulnerable is hard, but sometimes being vulnerable is what will prompt others to listen.
It was the summer before the fall of the 2019 semester. I needed to take one last fundamental class for MLS-micro. As a result, I registered for the class the previous semester and had everything planned out. I don’t know why, but on Friday before I was to start my class, I reread an email that was sent about registering for the summer. When I first received the email in May, I pretty much ignored the email because I told myself that I had already registered for the class and I didn’t have to do anything else. Little did I know that I forgot to read something really important.
The ending of the email stated not to forget to sign up for the class and lab portion. I realized that I had forgotten to sign up for the lab portion. However, the deadline to sign up for classes had
Saturday meant giving all of my worries to God and being grateful that there was a day of rest, but every time I tried to be joyful, the “dropped class” entered my mind. I couldn’t think of anything else. However, that day we went out to do missionary work as part of the Saturday youth activity. We were handing out watermelons and pamphlets to people we encountered. Despite my problem of dropped class, I felt at peace-at least for the time I handed out those magazines.
When Sabbath ended, I told my mom what had happened. Her response surprised me. She said, “Vanessa, don’t worry. We already paid. God knows you’ve worked so hard.” See, not only was I scared because I needed that class in order to start the fall semester, but my parents had already paid for the class and dorm deposit. I proceed to email my advisor as well as attempt to register again.
My heart was filled with joy as I saw that I was able to register for the lab portion of the class after all. My advisor also told me to come Monday anyways if I was still having problems because they were expecting me regardless. Her words
One thing that I forgot to mention was that prior to the summer, my faith became stagnant. I wasn’t feeling spiritually invigorating. I was just still. I wasn’t reading my Bible as often as I should. I told myself I wanted to change and become better. I made a schedule of the things I was going to do. I was going to study, exercise, and have an intentional relationship with God. And so I proceeded to do just that. Now, I’m not going to say it was easy. There were times where I felt lonely especially since by the time I took my class there were about 7 girls staying in the dorms and I had a room all to myself. There were pros and cons to that lol.
I think that being intentional about my relationship with God prompted me to start making small life changes. I’m not saying it was easy, nor was I perfect. I would ask God questions about life and talk to him about what was going on. There is so much that I asked God to do and change in my life.
Quite often, we worry about the future rather than the present. I’m guilty of that. Whether it’s being jealous of how other people look, what other people have, desiring to have someone special when everyone else does, being tired of the drama, or worrying about the future-always remember you are loved.
… always remember you are loved.
As I said, I had 3 weeks to think about a lot of things in my life. What was kept constant was the love of God. What God told me is that everything has its time. We just need to have faith because faith can move mountains and it all starts with a grain of seed. The precious scriptures tell us about the power of a mustard seed, “Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches” (Matthew 13:32). These words changed my inner self because I started to
“Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches” (Matthew 13:32).
I applied this to my life. I saw how my faith grew just a bit from my experience. I thanked God for my experience, I thanked God for bad days too. It is in our bad days and worst days that we search for him like never before.
I’m not perfect. I have my bad days too just like everyone else. However, my only hope is that I am able to spread even the tiniest bit of inspiration as to just what faith can produce. Over the summer I also listen to the song, “Scandal of grace” by hillsong united. That song helped me through a lot.
Let’s plant mustard seeds in this world and see trees of hope. The results will take our breath away.